friday mornings

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It’s 7:03am and it’s my day off. My precious little Izzy is snuggled in bed with me as I begin my morning with some quiet time. This is my favorite part about Friday mornings. It’s a guarantee that I will hear little feet running through the house to my room early in the morning. She is faithful every Friday- and as she enters my bed, she opens the covers, gets as close to me as she can, puts her forehead to mine and whispers, “I love you Mommy.”

I think we’ll just stay here forever. Right here. Where “life” can’t touch us.

Not yet, anyway.

And so our Friday begins. We decide to turn on a song- You Make Me Brave by Bethel Music. We turn it up loud. I can feel that today is a “turn-your-music-up-as-loud-as-it-can-go-to-drown-out-wrong-perspectives” kind of day. And as I start to sing the words, “you make me brave, you make me brave, you call me out beyond the shore into the waves, no fear can hinder me now”, Izzy sings along. She takes my hand and we proceed to sing the rest of the song together.

Melt. My. Heart.

Tears are running down my make-up-less cheeks.

It’s in these precious moments where I want to keep her safe forever. I want to keep her close to me to ward off any idiot who may break her 16 year old heart. I want to shield her from hurts, from disappointments. To hear a 3 year old sing the words, “Jesus, You make me brave” is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I want her to be brave! I want her to cling on to Jesus when she’s insecure or doubting her dreams.

As mothers, we’ve been given the responsibility to prepare our littles for what’s to come. Imagine that each child carries around a toolbox in life. And inside this toolbox are tools, or learned lessons,  that they will one day use when the time comes. Inside my daughter’s toolbox, I sure hope there’s a tool labeled “brave”. This tool is used when she battles insecurity and doesn’t think she’s good enough. Or when a friend hurts her and she must choose to love, despite her feelings. I know that the same tool has been used many times in my life. I bet it’s so used and worn that it barely works anymore. Well, at least I hope it is.

Today, will you put your “brave pants” on with me? You know you have a pair. I know it’s scary. I know that sometimes it goes against all that we feel.

In this early morning hour, I choose to use my brave tool to combat the insecurities I feel- even if my circumstances are shouting the opposite. 

So, back to reality it is, as we should probably get out of bed and tackle the 400 items on the to-do list. But sweet Izzy doesn’t agree and asks for “just a couple more minutes, please.” 

So I will continue to snuggle. I will continue to have conversations with my daughter about how crazy our bedhead looks or how bad my breath smells (she tells me every morning).

Yes, I will procrastinate my arse off until life screams so loud I cannot ignore it.

And when I finally get out of bed, I will choose to put my brave pants on and wear them proud.

Won’t you join me?

Love, Audra

 

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